Sob Story of the Century (Pointless Celeb #25)

If you’re from Wales you’ll know Imogen Thomas for being a fame hungry former Miss Wales, if you’re from the UK you’ll know Imogen Thomas as a fame hungry Big Brother contestant and if you’re from anywhere in the world you’ll probably know her as the fame hungry hussy who’s had an affair with a married footballer, but can’t sell her story and get mega bucks because he’s hidden himself behind a super injunction!

This Z lister is a fully subscribed member to the “famous for being famous” club.  And as with all Z listers she has a dodgy home sex tape, has appeared on the front page of every lads mag out there with her knockers out and been photographed on the arm of many a famous sports personality trying to become the latest WAG, but always failing!

I’ve never liked Imogen – she’s just too try-hard and desperate.  Always chasing the next magazine spread or newspaper cover, setting up photo shoots to make it look like she’s been “papped”, when really, who the hell would be following her normally?!?  She is no better than the kiss-and-tell girls that fill the Sunday papers in the UK with their stories of how they managed to pull a famous football player while out partying in the newest club in London – slags through and through and I detest every single one of them!  But it’s a sad state of affairs when you’ve been famous for 5 years, but not be known for doing anything of note except sleep around!

When news broke a few weeks ago that Imogen had been caught out seeing another footballer, I just rolled my eyes and said “not another one!”  Except this one wasn’t like all the rest, because this one did not want to  linked to Imogen in anyway and got himself to the lawyers quick sharp and got a super injunction to protect him with Harry Potter's cloak of invisibility so we’ll never know who this family man  is!   

But considering she’s gagged and not allowed to sell her story, I’m getting a bit sick and tired of seeing her face pretending to be sad peering down from every glossy magazine out there, on the TV with her crocodile tears, proclaiming that she loved her footballer and thought they would be together forever and ever….. whatever love!  We don’t fall for it one bit!  I’d quite like to know just how much money Ms Thomas has made from interviews talking about a story she can’t ACTUALLY talk about.

I do feel a little sorry for her though – I may not like her, but I do pity her.  Since the “I shagged a married man” scandal hit the headlines her reputation has hit an all time low and could affect her ability to work (if you call turning up to the opening of an envelope work!) How will she pay her bills?  When you’re painted as the scarlet woman all over town, how are you expected to get giggs?!?!?!

POINTLESS CELEBRITY #25 – Imogen Thomas

H x

Who’s The Daddy??? Well, YOU Are Seeing As You Can’t Keep It In Your Pants (Pointless Celeb #24)

Kevin Federline to become a dad for the fifth time?  How come this wasn’t top story on the News At 10?  Oh yeah, that’s right, because no one cares about the Douchebag Daddy anymore!

What amazes me is that despite the fact he looks like a hobo, hasn’t done a days’ work in his life and is known for being a playa, women still find him a catch!  I’ve seen his latest arm candy… she’s a poor man’s Britney Spears, but still a looker none the less!

When he came crashing (or should that be CASHING) into the public consciousness in 2004 he looked like the twat that got the cream on the arm of Britney, but let’s be honest, she only chose him to get back at Justin Timberlake for dumping her!  Had JT and her stayed together K Fed would still be a struggling dancer and would never have made THAT rap album!

I watched the Kevin and Britney reality show ‘Chaotic’ (hell I even bought it on DVD!)  I saw them “fall in love” during Britney’s Onyx Tour.  Even I could see that it was never going to be the greatest romance story of all time.  How the editor didn’t add $ signs to Kevin’s eyes in post production I’ll never know – he’s obviously a better man than me.  If you never saw ‘Chaotic’, it was an MTV show where, for eight 30 minute episodes, Britney became Kevin’s personal ATM and his meal ticket to the big time.  He must’ve been living everyday like he was taking part in the ‘Make A Wish Foundation’ – anything he wanted he got!  Clothes – check, cars – check, holidays – check, record an album – check.  The only thing Spears’ money couldn’t buy him was a bit of CLASS!

What I found funny, was that as soon as Bank Of Britney closed its doors for the last time and kicked his ass to the curb, Kev then decided that he’d like to try his hand at work – funny that!!!  But, it wasn’t as if he went out and got a proper job to help pay the bills – he tried to become a wrestler!!!  I can think of other words beginning with W that can be used to describe Feds, but Wrestler wouldn’t be one of them!

But no matter how big of a dick I think K Fed is, I am thankful to him for one thing – he made Britney more interesting.  Now we know that underneath the blonde hair and boobs there’s a CRAZY ASS PSYCHO just waiting to come out and play.  For that, Kev, I salute you… but kindly crawl back under the rock you came from and disappear.

POINTLESS CELEBRITY # 24 – Kevin Federline

H x