Who’s The Daddy??? Well, YOU Are Seeing As You Can’t Keep It In Your Pants (Pointless Celeb #24)

Kevin Federline to become a dad for the fifth time?  How come this wasn’t top story on the News At 10?  Oh yeah, that’s right, because no one cares about the Douchebag Daddy anymore!

What amazes me is that despite the fact he looks like a hobo, hasn’t done a days’ work in his life and is known for being a playa, women still find him a catch!  I’ve seen his latest arm candy… she’s a poor man’s Britney Spears, but still a looker none the less!

When he came crashing (or should that be CASHING) into the public consciousness in 2004 he looked like the twat that got the cream on the arm of Britney, but let’s be honest, she only chose him to get back at Justin Timberlake for dumping her!  Had JT and her stayed together K Fed would still be a struggling dancer and would never have made THAT rap album!

I watched the Kevin and Britney reality show ‘Chaotic’ (hell I even bought it on DVD!)  I saw them “fall in love” during Britney’s Onyx Tour.  Even I could see that it was never going to be the greatest romance story of all time.  How the editor didn’t add $ signs to Kevin’s eyes in post production I’ll never know – he’s obviously a better man than me.  If you never saw ‘Chaotic’, it was an MTV show where, for eight 30 minute episodes, Britney became Kevin’s personal ATM and his meal ticket to the big time.  He must’ve been living everyday like he was taking part in the ‘Make A Wish Foundation’ – anything he wanted he got!  Clothes – check, cars – check, holidays – check, record an album – check.  The only thing Spears’ money couldn’t buy him was a bit of CLASS!

What I found funny, was that as soon as Bank Of Britney closed its doors for the last time and kicked his ass to the curb, Kev then decided that he’d like to try his hand at work – funny that!!!  But, it wasn’t as if he went out and got a proper job to help pay the bills – he tried to become a wrestler!!!  I can think of other words beginning with W that can be used to describe Feds, but Wrestler wouldn’t be one of them!

But no matter how big of a dick I think K Fed is, I am thankful to him for one thing – he made Britney more interesting.  Now we know that underneath the blonde hair and boobs there’s a CRAZY ASS PSYCHO just waiting to come out and play.  For that, Kev, I salute you… but kindly crawl back under the rock you came from and disappear.

POINTLESS CELEBRITY # 24 – Kevin Federline

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