"Walk This Way" to the Dole Queue Ladies (Pointless Celeb 29)

Surely I'm not the only person who's getting sick of the Sugababes.

In the beginning, the fact that they were sullen schoolgirls who looked like they were eyeing you up to mug you for your kidneys to sell on eBay was actually a refreshing change to the bubble gum pop that was saturating the charts at the time.

Then the stories of back stabbing and bitching began, the ginger one left and no one really cared, mainly due to the fact that she was replaced by a cute blonde with perky "assets"......

With Heidi in the group their imaged changed pretty much over night from sullen teens wanting to do you in to sex workers wanting to do you for a tenner!  

It's amazing what a Wonderbra and low slung jeans can do for your career, because after the make over they took the charts by storm and had several number one's (even if what they sang was more like a number two).  It's like their navel piercings were hypnotising a nation as they gyrated around on Saturday morning TV miming totally singing live.  

Then Mutya left and it seemed like the band was in fact playing a real life version of Lemmings, disposing of members left right and centre with nothing more than an "Uh oh" as they vanished and another generic, skanky Barbie doll look alike took their place.  

By the time it care to Keisha's exit, the band had just become a parody of itself with old members fighting new members, people pretending to be outraged that yet again someone had been replaced, while most of us just thought "I didn't even know (or in fact care) that they were still together".  


The row over the name was farcical.  As Shakespeare said, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."  Call the Sugababes what the hell you want - it's still going to be bland, paint by numbers rubbish pop!

Yet another skank was enrolled into the hall of fame and the local college was a wannabe beauty student down!

What is sad about the Sugababes Version 4.0 is that because no one cares about them anymore, they're having to resort to dirty tricks to try and remain relevant.  Earlier this week Heidi almost got her boobs out on live TV when the top she was wearing came open.  How original.  Of course it got them mentioned in all the gossip columns and it was put down to a good old fashioned "wardrobe malfunction".  Hey Sugababes, a "wardrobe malfunction" is when the door on my Ikea unit springing open randomly. What Heidi had was a publicity stunt.  

Come on girls, I think it's now time to admit defeat and pack it in.  I'm sure I saw a "Help Wanted" sign in the window of Lidl's that'll be right up your street!

POINTLESS CELEBRITY #29 - Sugababes

H x