WTF Is That? Oh, It's Only Lembit! (Pointless Celeb #3)

In Wales, Lembit Opik is known as being a bit of a fool.  Well alright, we don’t need to sugar coat it, he’s a prick!

But he’s not stupid.  He was a Member of Parliament for God sake!  Unlike most of these stupid celebrities, he can actually SPELL “famous”!  So why is he now resigned to whoring himself out to the highest bidder?

Having a media history of appearing on hard hitting TV shows like Question Time, why is it I now have to see his ugly mug on any reality TV show going from eating a kangaroo cock in the jungle to cooking a 3 course meal for other celebs to win money?  The guy must have no shame!

But there always was something not quite right about this man (and not just the way he looks and dresses).  There always was something creepy about how he thought of himself as a celebrity and not a man chosen to help shape the country we live in.  How else can you explain his choice in girlfriends???

First there was Sian Lloyd – weather girl extraordinaire.  What she can’t tell you about a sustained wind speed isn’t worth knowing.  She was wined and dined and as a couple they appeared at showbiz events as the token z listers that no one quite knows who they are or how they got past security!

Then, in what can only be described as his “what the fuck were you thinking?” mid life crisis moment, he hooked up with Cheeky Girl Gabriela Irimia - famous for the song “Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum)” with what could be Ivor Novello award winning lyrics “Touch My Bum, This Is Life.”  The fact she was from Transylvania must have also meant that she was a vampire and must’ve eaten Lembit’s brain, because what the hell was he thinking????? You’re supposed to trade UP in the relationship game!

And now, despite being the ripe old age of 45, he’s dating a 21 year old blonde bimbo called Merily (!)  Maybe this is her “What the fuck are you doing?” moment, or maybe it’s a phase she’s going through to piss her dad off with totally inappropriate boyfriends.  Who knows, and to be honest, who really cares?!?

Lembit, since losing his parliamentary seat in 2010, has put his hands in many pies and now claims that he’s a stand up comic (but when your face is funnier than your jokes you’re onto a loser!), a journalist (in the Daily Sport, where every other word it TITS) and, what must be the proudest career move to date, a jockey in panto! Nice to see the Philosophy degree was worth the money!!!

But despite all this hatred I have for this buffoon, you do have to admire the fuckwit from Estonia – when he was an MP he tried to claim £2,499 for a plasma TV!!!   But when he gives himself the nickname “Puppy Dog”, I think it’s time to take this mongrel to the vet and have him put down!

Seriously Lembit with so many things apparently on the go, with a new addition everyday, what the fuck is it you actually do for a living???

POINTLESS CELEBRITY #003 – Lembit Opik

H x