Trash TV is my guilty pleasure.
Trash TV has, in the past, made me change my plans of an evening to make sure I don’t miss the next edition of a mind-numbing show that reduces my IQ by 10% every 5 minutes I watch; “My Super Sweet 16”, “16 and pregnant”, “Laddette to Lady” – the crapper the concept, the more likely it is to have me hooked within seconds. It’s a love hate thing – I love to watch them and hate myself for it!
My new guilty pleasure is MTV’s Teen Cribs…
I’ve spent the past few years dipping in and out of the show, only managing 10 minutes at a time before getting envious of these precocious brats just because they have fireman poles instead of stairs, a self cleaning bathroom or a cinema room bigger than my local Odeon. How can my 4 bed terrace in a quiet cul-de-sac compare to that?
But lately, I’ve found myself sitting in front of the TV watching episode after episode, shouting at the rich kids gurning their way through a whole 30 minutes as they show you around their Daddy’s home looking like the cat that got the cream. But that’s just it, IT’S YOUR DAD’S HOME. Your Dad is the one with the money to buy the self opening oven, heated toilet seats and chandeliers made from the frozen tears of Ethiopian babies. You're just one lucky son of a bitch to be born into that family.
I’m pretty sure all the kids on the show will NEVER actually work a day in their lives, instead coasting through life wanting to be “an actor”, living off Mummy and Daddy’s allowance, waiting for them to kick the bucket so they inherit everything. Once you realise they are just wasters with a Platinum Visa, it’s a bit easier to handle, because you can just laugh at how deluded they are.
What annoys me it that MTV are treating and encouraging them to act like an A Lister as they ramble on about why their walk in closet is the size of my entire house and why they simply HAD to have the brand new Bentley in pink to go to prom, always trying to convince us they are the new Usher or Missy Elliot. I even saw one episode with a 14 year old girl showing MTV around her “outside grotto that’s exactly like the Playboy mansion’s”. YOU’RE 14. YOU SHOULDN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PLAYBOY OR WHAT GOES ON IN THEIR GROTTO!!!! And if your grotto is anything like Hef's, you may want to take a trip to the nearest STD clinic, because I don't think chlorine can save you!
What really pisses me off the most is how the privately educated, want-for-nothing, spoilt brats think they can pretend their “street” by throwing gang signs at the camera, calling their cleaner their “homie” and their mates, who just happen to be at the house on the day of filming, their “party crew”. YOU CAN’T BE STREET – LOOK AT YOUR HOUSE – IT TAKES YOU 15 MINUTES TO WALK TO THE STREET FROM YOUR FRONT DOOR. And then, more often than not, it’s a gated street in a gated community. You are about at street at Prince William mate!
I’d love MTV to do the follow up show “When Teen Cribs Grown Up, Get Cut Off From Daddy, Thrown Out Of The Mansion And Have To Live In The Projects”. Now THAT’S a reality TV show I’d watch religiously!!!
POINTLESS CELEBRITY #18 – Anyone that’s appeared in Teen Cribs
H x
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