I’m Sure You Used To Have A Purpose (Pointless Celeb #19)

It’s not very often that a celebrity with a purpose can change into a pointless hanger on, but Carol Vorderman is fast becoming THAT celebrity!

Ms Vorderman used to be known at the UK’s brainiest woman. 

What this gal couldn’t do to numbers wasn’t worth knowing.  She also made many a teen boy’s childhood by being able to talk science and do experiments with them.  At the height of her fame, teenage girls wanted to be her (hell, I wanted to be her!) and teenage boys would get a funny feeling just looking at her (but didn’t know what it was!)

She WAS Countdown; adding up, taking away, multiplying and dividing in the blink of an eye, handing out vowels and consonants with a smile.  Where did it all go wrong Carol? 

I know!  She got divorced.

While married she was always Miss Prim and Proper - knee length skirts and high neck tops or even a fierce business suit or two.  But when she split from her hubby in 2000, she started dressing like your older, embarrassing sister trying (and failing) to hold on to her youth.  And sometimes it WASN’T pretty.  Sometimes it was mutton dressed as lamb with the boobs and legs hanging out of a dress she’d just poured herself into.  That’s NOT what we wanted from our “telly mum”!!!!  I know, being a mature woman back on the dating scene must suck and you have to make an extra effort to find the next suitor, but the woman who used to make having a day off school worthwhile, turned into a cougar overnight even before cougar’s were cool (are cougar’s really THAT cool anyway?)

She started vamping it up, caking on the makeup and adding the fake hair, eyelashes and tan so no one could take her seriously anymore.

I do think that Carol was unfairly given the bum’s rush by Channel 4 – replaced after 23 years by a 22 year old whippersnapper.  But with her brains, she could’ve got another job straight away, putting her talents to use, but instead she’s gone down the route of being THAT woman to turn up to the opening of an envelope as long as the envelope has VIP on it.  The boobs and legs are still out, and for a 50 year old, you have to give it her, she IS a foxy lady, but what’s happened to your brain’s Carol? 

She’s been on many TV shows trying to show how much of a laugh she is by taking the piss out of herself, but she's no longer the “telly mum” I remember from my youth.  Now Carol Vorderman is no better than an IT girl still trying to keep the party going even though it’s about 30 years too late.

Her fall from grace was pretty brutal, but she could’ve comeback bigger and stronger than before, sticking her fingers up to the channel execs who thought she was too old for telly, and we would've backed her, but now she seems happy to be held up as the person Paris Hilton will turn into in 20 years.

Carol, please  get a job that actually uses your brain again, because the way you’re going, you’re just a couple of months off becoming a regular hag on Loose Women – you used to have a point but right now you’re pretty pointless.

POINTLESS CELEBRITY #19 – Carol Vorderman

H x